Is Home Buying More Painful than Farting on a Date?

Let's be honest.  Being a home buyer can be a bit of a difficult process to navigate.  Whether you are buying your first home or your 20th home, there are several pitfalls that can even the most prepared buyers to feel panic.  It seems to be Murphy's Law that when you receive your pre-approval from a lender, the homes that you drove past and thought you might not mind viewing suddenly exceed your budget.  The homes that are within your price range that have been sitting on the market for months suddenly receive an offer as you make the decision to move.

As a buyer, you may have wanted to "swipe right" on a house ad (much like Tinder) as you instantly fall head over heels with a new listing's exterior.  However, as you step inside, you quickly realize that purple shag carpet and wood walls from the disco-era might not be your style.  The master bedroom that appeared so spacious is not so appealing as you realize that only a twin bed can fit into the room. 

However, there is one moment in the buying process that can give us as much discomfort as needing to fart on a date.  Can you guess what that is?  If you guessed that viewing a home while the sellers are home and wanting to show you the special features of their residence, you would be correct.  A showing that might take only mere minutes for you to determine that the neighbouring home of hoarders will not make the best playmate for your children, suddenly can take an hour. Your agent is also keenly aware that all of the other showing appointments are now likely going to run late, and must nod respectfully when the seller announces that they are basically giving their home away and their friends love their green carpet in the family room that appears to be constructed from actual grass.

Much like gas, smells can be a huge turn-off for buyers.  I have shown homes in which it smells like Fido and his canine companions have marked their territory throughout each room in the house.  Homes that appear to have a "leafy" odor similar to that of a dispensary like "Trees" can sometimes leave even the most conservative buyer in dire need of a snack or pizza break. According to, 56 percent of home buyers say that they are turned off by odor in a home - especially when a home smells like someone has broken wind and simply walked away.

70 percent of home buyers report that damp or patched walls will cause the best of homes to be ignored.  If we are honest, no one wants to deal with that type of moisture that is unexpected.  A wise old man once said to me "The definition of a suprise is a fart with lumps in it" and I have to agree.  Sagging or stained walls and ceilings are unexpected surprises that can mask a painful outcome for anyone.

All kidding aside, being a home buyer requires a sense of humor, patience and a solid relationship with a trusted real estate professional.  I think that sometimes we forget to laugh at the funny things that many of us face in life - whether it be buying a home or trying to survive a date after enjoying that bean burrito.

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